With so much good and so much awful in 2012, I didn’t know how or what to feel on this eve of ending becoming beginning; didn’t quite know what to thank or ask for. This was no usual melding of time. My throat choked with tears of aching losses and gulps of incredible gains; grimness and gratitude; leaving me on an expansive plateau of open for business of,’ I-don’t-know.’
It is a weird feeling to have no thing nailed down; buttoned up or known.
And it is also a bit exciting to go with the kinda scary to be this open; this blank page waiting to be written upon.
Am on the edge of newness in my old skin and the teller of story is anticipating some very interesting his and her tales.
I feel like an ancestor in the making.
Emerging from a day’s end shower, readying for sleep, my dear Tom announced that he’d just washed off the old 2012 and here I sit at my computer, fresh and facing the fact that I’d pretty much done the same thing.
What comes to dust our boots; shine light on our paths and whip us with wisdom is yet to unfold.
I feel like it’s just right around the corner, peeking at us all, this 2013, saying, “Ha ha! You survived! Stand together. Have we got fun for you!”
I can hope for kindness and compassion and peace for us all…honoring and patience and embracing of differences.
First I’ll grow these things more in myself, I think, because I don’t have much skin back on yet. I’ll have to be tender, gentle and sometimes silent to listen for the growing, the new, the winds and energy of change.
And I might have to be slower, have things repeated, stop from time to time.
Because I feel like I’m catching up to something.
Perhaps it’s breath.
Wanting to wish everyone better than the best any of us can imagine, I let go of searching for new words or settling for old saws of the occasion.
What will come will come.
For today, for this moment, this now, without frames or borders or preconceived future; open-palmed, ready for you to write your own new stories, I simply say with love, “Have a New Year.”
eFlorence 