roller coaster ride

too near the edge for tasting

ending beginning

“Human nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same worn-out soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth.” Nathaniel Hawthorne, writer

Hello 2010!

With gratitude for so many miracles that got pulled out of aught nine, like rabbits from magicians’ hats, a sigh of relief deep as oceans runs through my being like a freight train that has turned its corner tracks; chugging up steep inclines through snowy, crisp cold alpine passes, now rolling along smoother terrain to mid balance climes; unstoppable in its ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Yesssssss, my soul sings and ‘Thanks Angels !’ is at the heart of my ‘endzone dance.’

Not that I feel I’m anywhere near the fourth quarter end zone.  It’s just one of many touchdowns I’ll look back on from Heaven’s vantage point,  when I have better vision than these human windows of wide wonder, at how things can turn around just when you think you’re a goner; just when you are convinced that you’re at wits end and no thing will come your way.

I breathe in the wonder and ever green growing gratitude that springs from a well of unending opportunities to have better than I can imagine, when I am forced to spin on the spit of  life’s twists until I give up and give in to allowing things to manifest in ways and times far better than I imagined; when I am spent from trying to do it my way or society’s or someone’s way.

It’s then that I get a chance to view everything in and around me from a completely different perspective-albeit that point of view may be flat on the floor.

And when the kicking and screaming stop and I’m wrung out from wrestling with how I see it; how I want it, the it is surprisingly eye-opening…if and, only when, I allow it to coalesce into cleared sight.

This New Year’s Eve, was a blue moon night said to be double the energy of completion and cleansing.  The way I saw it written was about  more light edging out darkness in this new year; this new decade.  I liked the sound of those words especially in light of how much change was wrought and the familiar wrested from  us.

It was a bitch of a roller coaster year.

I don’t know many who wouldn’t agree with that on some level.

Losses overwhelmed, grief was at a multi-layered all time high and people got down to just chucking it all.  So many hands thrown up in the air made us look like the planet was waving at God.  ”Yeah, Big Guy, it’s us down here doin’ the wave and signaling the biggest SOS from stadium Earth.”

Yet, here I sit at 6 in the morning of the first day of the new decade and hope has replaced despondency and feral fear in my heart.

Breathing room seems to be rolling in on an optimistic tide and change wears a new costume, the fabric of which is softer, a bit more flowing and better fitted to new styles of being and doing… a more balanced garment…a one size fits all yet fits each, with room to grow…good for lounging and play as well as appropriate for the office…both day and evening wear for all occasions.  Why, it’s the little black dress of the 2-10’s!  A must have for all closets.

Back to basics.

Yup.  We had to key up our courage, take the hem up, nip in the waist of that sucker and remove the shoulder pads in the jacket …and oh, what a sigh of relief at the end of the refitting to find that we are lighter and more creative; able to move more easily and wear the world like a loose garment.

The I-don’t-wanna-change look became so unwieldy or tattered that wearing it for another season of life became impossible.

The rat race ran out and only the rats won…and even that was was a ‘maybe’ award.

Our human race company had to take on an entirely different mission statement and change its ways of doing business.

And though we’re still digging out, today I have hope.  For I am lucky enough to have realized, caved in and changed and am willing to clean, clear, reshape and allow myself and how I am in the world to unfold.

When I’m not fighting the tsunami of change, I can float the currents and find safer haven in ports  of call I’d never even dreamed of visiting.

My partnerships are plentiful too.  There’s H.P. a power greater than the old company of ‘me, myself and I;’ a host of Angels, Earth and Celestial, who each add their perspectives and talents to the whole and, though there still is a ‘me, myself and I,’ we take a lighter approach to the business of living; allowing a variety of sub contractors to pitch in and bring their best to every endeavor.

In this way; this backing down, stopping cold and allowing room for better than I can imagine to come from what looks like sheer catastrophe, miracles rise up between my eyeballs and slug me like a kid with a gigantic ‘Ha ha!’

OMG!  I’m still here after the blizzard of aught nine, after the wipe outs, the bail outs, the chaos, the near not being here at all and the wanting to chuck it all in for real and for good.

Looking back, I see that I got what I asked the Universe for last year…not in ways I thought I wanted; not in safe little boxes of sameness.

No.   My greater good came out of the proverbial blue; each one leading and threading one  to another; surprising the hell out of me.

I wanted abundance first and foremost – and I meant money.

I wanted healing and perfect health.

I wanted creative projects.

And I figured if I had the first item on that wish list, the rest would follow.

But nooooooo.

What I got was abundance of opportunities to self care, be silent, notice the little things around which brought me joy that didn’t cost a penny and the about face which gave me that scenic view…which led to mind, spirit and body healing…which led to better health, perfect enough for each day…which led to becoming able to consider some superbly creative projects which came my way…which led to  actually doing work which makes my heart sing, touches others and gives joy into the world.

Hmmm. Who knows?  Perhaps that saying is accurate….’Do what you love and the money will follow.”

What I’m seeing more clearly is that currency comes in many shapes, sizes and forms other than folding cash.  Coin of the realm depends upon which realm I’m focusing.

I have abundance of good, nourishing, supportive, unconditionally loving relationships on planet family of choice.  Unlimited imagination and a willingness to learn and grow are part of the fabric of my being.  Creativity and a desire to be of service in the world  stand inside a loving heart and generous spirit and I have faith in all sorts of good appearing at just the right time; in just the right way.

My good this year has come in the miracles of multilayered manifestations where everything is possible when I remove the frame from the picture.

Some listen to me as I process on the way to progress and say, “Miracles, ha.”

I say, “Well, you know when those come around.”

And here we are on the first day of a new decade, after a unique colored, New Year’s eve moon…

for which I’m grateful.

“The weakest living creature, by concentrating his powers on a single object, can accomplish something. The strongest, by dispensing his over many, may fail to accomplish anything. The drop, by continually falling, bores its passage through the hardest rock. The hasty torrent rushes over it with hideous uproar, and leaves no trace behind.”

Thomas Carlyle, essayist and historian

“As you go about your day, notice the mirror faces around you and feel the muscles of your own face. When you feel a bit of stress or tension, allow the ends of your mouth to curve up, lightening heaviness; softening the energy within and around you as you share the gift of your smile. 

A smile can carry you lightly through an entire day.”

Florence Ondré

“Underground nuclear testing, defoliation of the rain forests, toxic waste… 
Let’s put it this way: if the world were a big apartment, we wouldn’t get our deposit back.” 
John Ross

“Translation is the art of erasing oneself in order to speak in another’s voice.”

David Cole, professor, author, and correspondent (b. 1958)

Water colored blah
Inside, outside, all around
Human goo, got flu?

“Our heads are round so that thoughts can change direction.”
Francis Picabia, painter and poet (1879-1953)

 We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice – that is, until we have stopped saying ‘It got lost,’ and say, ‘I lost it.’

Sydney J. Harris, journalist (1917-1986)